Reminder of the #TAFTAS NOMINEES

The Nominees for the first TAFTA’s (Torthorwald village Annual Film and Twitter Awards) were as follows:

Best Comedy Writer @qosfc1919 for allegedly being ‘funny on the inside’
Fermer Broon for his whimsical humour in the
Community Council newsletter and 93yr old Hilda von
Voomswinkel for her Church Gazette

Lifetime Achievement Award The Wet Fish for ‘Slapping Premiere Putin’

Best Wildlife Documentary

Katie the Yak for her appearance in the remake of ‘Dr Doolittle’
Charlie the Dodo in David Attenbroughs ‘ Extinct – Really?’
The Nematodes for ‘Return of the Nematodes’

Best Evil Character EvilSkyDish for ‘Demon on the Roof’
@homesickscorrie
Vladimir Putin for ‘How I Stole The World’

Best Actress Katie the Yak for ‘Dr Doolittle’
Freaky Fiona for ‘The Madboys’

Best Actor Crane for ‘Crane – Intergalactic Hero’
Mad Malkie for ‘The Madboys’
Fat Eck for ‘The Madboys’

Best Foreign Film Olga and Dmitri for ‘Crimea wtf happened?’

Best Newcomer Crane for ‘Crane – Intergalactic Hero’
RedUrzuBird for ‘Crane – Intergalactic Hero’
Boorp for ‘Crane – Intergalactic Hero’

Best Sports Documentary

The Nematodes for ‘How The Nematodes saved Scottish Rugby’

Best Short Film the Tunnellers for ‘Tunnel to Cardiff’

Best Twitter Hashtag
#strange
#wandofstupidity
#theMadBoys
#itcouldstillbeadodo
#evilskydish
#tunneltocardiff
#camouflageclub
#taxiforDave
#freedomfriday
#thescotsmonautsarecoming

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#Disasterchef brings you our Lobster Thermidor Recipe – Enjoy!

Ok. For todays #disasterchef recipe, we thought we’d push the boat out and go for something that we don’t do every Thursday night, Lobster Thermidor. We’ve got our wine, double cream, mustard, fish stock etc. Only one thing missing…….the lobster!
Now, I’ve never cooked lobster before, so, this might be interesting. First of all we’ve got to go and find our fresh lobster. Ideally, in an ideal idyllic world, there would be a harbour 100yds from my house with a fisherman and waders holding a lobster he’d caught 10 minutes ago.
However, the sea is unfortunately miles away, so it’s off to Tesclos………..

Ok. So here we are at the shopping equivalent of Nirvana, Tesclos. Not that I like choosing them, it always feels like the fish equivalent of Death Row,but, hopefully they’ll have a big tank with loads of fresh lobsters enjoying a wee swim….

Let’s go in……smile at the security guard……nice glower back……..oh, there’s some Halloween stuff cheap……..oh wait it’s only March……concentrate on the job Dave………

Here we are, the fish counter, no fish tank, but plenty of stuff sitting out on the ice. Not sure whether a lobster can survive for long sitting on ice, but it must be able to as there it is, sitting there staring at me. No one around……….

10 minutes later…….’hi can I help you?’
‘Yes I was looking for some nice fresh lobster’
He points towards the salmon……..’isn’t that the lobster over there…..?’
‘Oh sorry, I thought you said salmon’ . He looks nervous.
‘No, I’m after some fresh lobster, is it fresh?’
‘Of course, very fresh this lobster is’
‘It looks a bit….well…….past it’s best…….is it still alive?’
‘Of course Sir, it just blinked at you…..’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes look…….’ He pokes it with his fat finger. ‘There u go it moved’
‘Are u sure, it seemed to just…..well…. list over a bit……’
‘Honestly, it’s fresh in today, look it’s moving…….’ He prods it again
‘I think it’s claw just fell off…..’
‘Oh f…..look I’ll give u it at half price…….I’m only the bloody butcher…..wouldn’t you prefer a nice piece of fillet steak……?’

So there u go…more tips coming soon………My Lobster Thermidor recipe care of #disasterchef 漏 2014 馃槉